Why Does it Hurt So Much to Love you?
by emilola
Summary: Life was pretty good. That is, until I started ninth grade. After entering high school, my life started hurling down the emotional roller coaster of love, and the whole time I was secretly screaming at the top of my lungs.Akuroku
1. Freshman Hunt

Hehe. Be easy on me, guys. This is my first fic. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: Roxas belongs to Axel (vice versa) and all of the characters belong to Squeenix

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Life had always been pretty good to me. It was almost as if I had been rewarded for being the most popular boy in school, for having effortlessly gotten A+ on my report card, for having good friends. Yup, Life was pretty good. That is, until I started ninth grade. After entering high school, my life started hurling down the emotional roller coaster of love and the whole time I was secretly screaming at the top of my lungs.

I was what half of the student body hated and what the other half loved- a prep. My whole life I'd always had the prettiest girls in the school fawning over me, I'd always been followed by my younger admirers form lower grades, I'd always been watched wherever I went. In short, I was never really alone, but that was in physical terms. Emotionally, I had always been alone. Sure, I had great friends who would be willing to support me no matter what, but we just didn't "click" together. It was almost as if life was a book and I was always a few pages behind or a few pages too far ahead of everyone else.

Some time along in my life, I had somehow managed to convince myself that I wouldn't be alone forever. Maybe I wasn't searching hard enough. The truth was, I wasn't searching in the right place. I was right, though. I _wouldn't_ be alone forever. However, I wasn't sure that I would be willing to pay the price of having a companion who understood me when the opportunity presented itself in the hallways of Twilight High.

I was too tired to be in school, too tired to be walking with my perky friends who had probably gone to sleep at five in the afternoon yesterday and then woken up at five today to spend three hours on their hair and then chug down an energy drink in order to catch the bus in time.

I was lucky that the policeman wasn't nearby right now, because if he _had been_, he would have had to arrest me for W.W.A.- walking while asleep. But then again, if he were in the nearby vicinity he would have to arrest almost every other student. The nerds looked like they had stayed up until four studying calculus, the nobodies looked like they had pulled an all-nighter trying fruitlessly to look like one of my group, the Asians looked like their parents had woken them up early so that they could split their instrument practice into two hours before school and then another two afterwards, and the emo & Goths- well- they always looked half dead anyway.

There were two groups this morning that were actually aware of what they were doing- my preps, and the punks.

I had a clear view of them from where I was standing, even on the other side of the hall from them, because the crowds of students instinctively parted for both of the groups- for mine out of awe and respect, and for the punks out of fear.

My drowsiness was starting to ware off now and I could feel the presence of hundreds of eyes following me. Not wanting to acknowledge the rest of the students gawking at me, I looked straight ahead at the oncoming group.

There were five of them total. The leader was a tall, slender male with a long mane of red spikes that cascaded down a long neck protected by a black choker with what seemed to be a heart shaped silver pendant. His shirt was white with a jumble of words printed in black ink, and his right wrist was covered by a black and white wristband, accompanied by a pair of fingerless gloves and dark jeans. Right of him was a shorter male with silver hair falling into his eyes. He was wearing a black t-shirt with cargo shorts and a large assortment of bracelets stuffed onto one wrist. Behind the guy with the silver hair was another guy with pink hair. He had a pink and black striped shirt and torn jeans. To the left of the leader was a blonde guy who looked like he belonged to a rock band, and behind him was a girl who didn't look like she belonged with them at all. Her long blonde hair was swept to one side and she wore a pure white summer dress that cut off above her knees. Her pale blue eyes didn't look afraid, though so I guessed that maybe she had to change from her normal clothes for some unknown reason.

My thoughts didn't linger on the girl for long, though. I was drawn back to the leader who was gazing at me with penetrating green eyes. It was really unnerving having him stare at me like that- almost like he could see all of my darkest secrets. I shuddered inwardly just as the corners of his mouth twitched up into a smile. Creepy. Really creepy.

We stopped in the hallway three feet from each other because there was no room for both of our groups to cross without bumping. He smirked.

"Ah, new freshman for us to chop up. We're going to have a fun time this year, guys." His followers laughed. "Make sure you guys don't get in our ways again. Or else."

I clenched my fists, readying to defend my group. "What do you have against us?" I challenged.

He grinned and then pinched my cheek. "Nothing, just don't want to accidentally chop off that cute face of yours. Now move."

I swatted his hand away. Kairi grabbed my arm and gave me a look that said, "Screw pride, let's just get out of here." The last thing I wanted to do right now was move to the side of the hall. I stood my ground firmly.

"Hmm. Looks like our little freshman has a little bit of an attitude problem. Maybe a bit of persuasion will change his mind." The band member and the silver-haired guy snickered. "What's your name, kid?"

"Roxas," I snarled.

"Well, Roxas, what do you say about us getting a bit closer?" He leaned over me until our faces were mere inches apart. I kept my ground. His eyes now had a devious gleam in them and I was literally frightened half to death, but I still kept still. He tilted my chin up and leaned even closer to me until we were almost kissing. I couldn't take it. This was really wrong. I was NOT going to let some punk gay steal my first kiss. I stumbled backwards on to Hayner. The redhead laughed, and pushed me aside. All I could do was glare at him.

Tidus looked at me worriedly. "Dude, don't chew yourself up over it. Let's just find out what classes we have together." We all whipped out our schedules and compared them. I had P. E. with Olette and Tidus and lunch with everyone. It wasn't exactly the best schedule ever, but I could make new friends.

Tidus, Olette, Sora, Kairi, Hayner and I split up and headed to our first period classes. My first period class was math, one of my least favorite subjects, mainly because I was too good at it and I was always put in the class for the next grade honors. I found my way to the third tenth grade hall and looked around for the math classroom. I was anxious to find my class because the halls were already pretty much empty.

There was a tap on my shoulder and an obnoxious voice saying, "Has angry Roxas coming back for a little more of what we started in the hallway?"

I turned to face him and say, "back off, freak" but never got the words out because I was silenced from shock when he pressed me up against the lockers. He was bent over me, his body pressing against mine, his mint breath blowing lightly across my face, his green eyes smoldering.

"Wh-what are you g-going to do?" I stammered.

"Don't worry. I'm just trying to have a little bit of fun," he whispered. His mouth stretched into an evil grin, but he wiped it off as he leaned even closer down. His lips lightly brushed over mine and then he backed off, winking. "Kidding! You should have seen your face!" He doubled over in laughter. I stared at him incredulously, and then remembered how to be mad. He saw my expression and backed off. "Dude, I'm sorry. Like I said, I was just trying to have a bit of fun. I didn't know you'd get that mad." My face stayed the same. "Fine. I'll make it up to you. What were you looking for?"

I considered for a moment whether it was all right telling him what my first period class was, but the halls were empty now and I didn't want to be late for my class on the first day. "The math class for this hall."

His eyes widened and then narrowed into an evil grin. Oh no. Whenever he has an evil grin that means I'm screwed. He walked down to the end of the hall and motioned for me to come over. I moved over to the classroom that he was standing in front of. It _did _looked like a math classroom, but he had an evil grin so I wasn't so sure about going in. I spotted a formula list on the walls so it must have been the right class. Walking inside, I saw quadratic formulas on the overhead for warm up. This had to be the right class, so why did I still have that foreboding evil feeling?

I walked over to an empty desk on the side of the classroom and sat down. There were movements in the seat right of me accompanied the sound of someone plopping down on the desk. I turned right and faced the person next to me and stopped in horror. Facing me were those piercing green eyes with an evil glint in them. _Oh god. Oh dear god, whatever have I done wrong to you?_

"What are you doing here?"

He looked at me, bemused. "I should be asking you. What is a ninth grader doing in a tenth grader hall?"

"I-I've been moved up a grade for math."

"Hah. I thought someone like you would have been moved _down_ a grade."

"Shut up. We're not all stupid."

He raised an eyebrow and then laughed.

The teacher introduced himself as Mr. Strife, but it felt weird calling him mister when he looked like he was hardly old enough to be out of college. For the first five minutes of class I was staring at his hair, which appeared to be gelled with some sort of superglue.

Mr. Strife called roll, and I found out that my personal torturer's name was Axel.

I was trying to calculate whether Mr. Strife's hair actually followed the laws of physics when Axel yawned and then put his arm around me. Was he joking? That was the single oldest move in the book! And why is he making a move on me? Right, he's intent on making my life miserable for standing up to him. Isn't life sweet?

I shrugged his arm off, hoping that he would give up after that. The way my luck had been going, he didn't. This time his hand crept over my thigh and squeezed my leg. I tried as hard as I could not to laugh, but I had to clench my jaws and hold my breath until my face just about turned blue in order to contain my laughter. Mr. Strife looked at me.

"You there, in the beige jacket, are you alright?"

I nodded, not trusting myself enough to not laugh if I opened my mouth. Thankfully, the teacher looked away, convinced. It got worse after that. Axel took his finger and started running it up and down the length of my thigh. I couldn't take it anymore. The classroom was filled with the sound of my unrestrained mirth.

Mr. Strife took deep, slow breaths. In and out. In and out. I tried to figure out what he was doing. Maybe he was trying to keep himself from killing me. "Your name?"

"Roxas."

"For what reason are you interrupting my first class of the year, Roxas?"

"Axel was touching me!" The class tittered at this.

"I've heard about you, Axel," He said, turning to Axel. Wow. He had actually heard enough about Axel to recognize him by site. Amazing. "Is this true?"

Axel looked Mr. Strife straight in the eye and answered, "Yes, teacher this is true." Shocked gasps were audible throughout the classroom.

"Well then, it looks like our janitors are going to have one more day of summer break. You two will stay after school to clean the cafeteria today. Report back to this class at the end of seventh period."

I decided it was better if I didn't groan.


	2. Mysterious Beginning

Hi guys! I'm really, really sorry to the people who have been repeatedly asking me to update! It's just that between dance camp in China, school starting again, and people who have been pestering me to update on Deviantart (which I still haven't gotten around to doing, eek!) I really haven't had much time to write. As an apology, this chapter came out a bit longer than the rest! Enjoy and please review.

Disclaimer: Roxas belongs to Axel (vice versa) and all of the characters belong to Squeenix

--

By the time that I met Tidus and Olette for P.E., I was in an explosively horrible mood. Science had passed by in what seemed to be an impossibly slow speed, and I was chastised for falling asleep during the teacher's lecture about important figures in scientific history which had the same effect on me as forcing me to breathe through a cloth soaked with chloroform.

Glaring at the floor as if it were my most dearly hated enemy, I stomped my way down the hallway as a few girls glanced at me and giggled nervously. Olette and Tidus were up ahead of me. They were only a few feet ahead- and then I couldn't see anything.

"Guess who"

"Uh….I don't recognize your voice…" I really wasn't in the mood for this.

"I'm disappointed in you, Roxas," The voice chided. He took his hands off of my eyes, allowing me to turn around and identify the owner of the hands. I saw the silver-haired person from Axel's group. Was this a joke? "You don't recognize me, do you?" he smirked. Slowly, I shook my head. He sighed sadly, pushing his bangs out of his face.

"Riku!"

"There we go," he smiled. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Six years," I grinned back.

"So what's been eating you up? You looked pretty upset back there."

I glowered in remembrance of my detention. "Your friend Axel landed me in detention during first period."

He whistled, impressed. "First period? I think that has to be a record for him…"

"Riku!"

"Oh, right. I'll go kick him later for you, ok?" but his eyes were glazed over, and I was pretty sure that he was very impressed by Axel's knack of getting me into trouble. By now Olette and Tidus were long gone and there were few people in the hallways. I walked quicker, not wanting to be late to gym, no matter how useless of a class it was.

I arrived just in the nick of time, again. For the first time today, luck was actually with me. I was assigned a locker on the far end of the locker room, which wasn't as crowded as the lockers close to the door. Even though I was one of the most popular guys in school, I was still modest enough to be embarrassed to undress in front of a room full of people.

I walked out of the locker room, pretty sure that I had my locker combination down.

"Yo, Roxas. Over here!"

Riku was waving at me from the stands. I walked over uncertainly, wanting to find my other friends.

"So how's life been?" he asked me once I plopped down on the bleachers.

"Alright I guess"

"Is your dad alright?" He avoided mentioning my mom. Tactful.

"I don't really know. He's been on a business trip for the past three months."

He paused for a moment to consider what to say next. He asked quietly, "Do you ever get lonely?"

"Sometimes."

"Then you should come hang out with me and the gang some time," he said, brightening up again considerably.

I raised an eyebrow, considering his offer. "Maybe. As long as Axel's not there."

"Aw, come on. He's not that bad once you get to know him." Pause. "You're just his new experiment. Once he gets his answer he'll stop bothering you."

"What's he trying to figure out?'

"How much does it take to crack a prep."

"Wait, so…If I somehow start flipping out at him in the middle of detention, he'll stop bothering me?"

"If you're a good actor he will."

I spent the rest of P.E. forming plans for detention.

--

It was free period at the time, and I spent mine wandering the halls with a book in my hands. I was on about my fifth round of the school when I heard running footsteps down the hallway, but I was too lazy to look up from the book to check who it was. _Bad choice_, I realized when the sprinter ran head on into me.

"Roxas." She sobbed, clutching my shirt tightly. Sobs shook her body so badly that I almost thought she was having a seizure. She sank to her knees slowly, her shaking hands still clutching my shirt. I had no idea what to do.

"Kairi…are you alright?"

"It hurts. It hurts," she said through heart-breaking sobs. For a panic-filled moment I thought that she was wounded, and I attempted to push her away so that I could see her better, but her hands were stuck hard to my shirt

"What do you mean?"

"I-I..I loved him…I loved him so much…and then he…he…" she was hysterical now.

"What did Sora do?"

Her crying stopped for a second, her eyes taking on a hollowness that I had never seen before in her. I hesitated for a second. Her expression…it was…not bitter, no, she loved Sora too much for that…it was betrayed, lost, the expression of a father who had just been shot by his daughter.

"We started going out in the summer…But today, I was looking for him when free period started…and I found him…" she choked as she attempted to hold back a sob. "I found him with someone else." Her eyes began to humanize as she re-lived what she had seen, pain filling in the tears.

She slid down to her knees, no longer having enough strength to stand on her own. I was sitting across from her, dragged down, in the hallway with her hands still gripping on to my shirt. I had never dealt with heartbreak before. Was I supposed to comfort her? Or would that just make it worse? Should I just leave her here in the hallway and hope that she'll recover? Should I tell her to leave Sora behind? I was doubtless that I had never, not once, been as confused in my life as I was right now.

Almost as if I were separated from my body, I stretched out my arms and hugged her. The crying slowed eventually, and when she was just sniffling, I whispered to her, "shhh, it'll be alright, it'll be alright." I repeated it again and again.

My head hurt immensely, like someone was trying to extract my brains by squeezing them out. Sora is gay. The words sounded incorrect like that. They sounded foreign and jumbled in that order. My brain attempted to grasp that concept, but it wouldn't allow me to believe what I knew was true. He'd never shown that much interest in girls…I squeezed my eyes closed in a sort of half grimace. Sora is gay, I told myself.

Her sniffling stopped, the fingers of her hand beginning to unwind themselves from my shirt.

"Thanks, Roxas. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here…Well, actually, I _do _know, but it's better if I don't tell you."

She smiled a sad smile at me and got up, muttered a kind of choked goodbye, and ran down the hallway, leaving me stunned in the hallway.

--

The day passed painstakingly slow, but I was glad that it did because it gave me more time to perfect the plan that I was sure was going to get Axel off my back. But, as I made my way down the long corridor to my math classroom, I lost some of my assuredness and began to wonder how I was going to live through the whole school year if my plan didn't work. I walked faster, sure that my idle time was not good for my confidence…but if my plan _did_ fail…I didn't think that I'd be able to survive.

I reached the classroom and walked in without looking where I was going. Unfortunately for me, I jammed my toe into the doorframe. Hissing in pain, I hopped awkwardly to the center of the classroom, unsure if I was supposed to be sitting in a desk or not.

Laughter erupted in front of me, and I looked up, amazed to see that Axel and Mr. Strife were laughing together. When they finally stopped, I saw that Mr. Strife was smiling. It was a dramatic change from today in the classroom.

"Now that you're both here, I'll assign you today's detention. Since I already have other students cleaning the rest of the school, you two can go scrub the mascot wall."

"Sure thing, Cloud."

Cloud? Was that supposed to be a nickname? Were they on nickname status now? There's no way that a two people can get close so quickly. There's only one explanation. Axel must have used his sadist powers that he gained from imitating the devil so well to brainwash our math teacher. That was the only way that this scenario could make sense.

Axel kind of pushed me out of the classroom, seeing as how my mind was so immersed in disbelief that I wouldn't have been able to think of walking.

"Yo, Roxas, you alright? You seem kind of out of it right now."

I let the sadist's words fly by me.

"Earth to Roxas, is anyone there?"

"Ugh. Shut up. Where's the mascot wall?"

"Ohhh, is Woxy having a temper tantrum? We can't have that!" and an evil grin stretched across his face again. By now, I knew not to stick too close to Axel when he was grinning, so I quickly walked ahead of him. But Axel was much taller than me, and therefore, could walk quicker than I could without spending as much energy. He could walk circles around me without breaking a sweat. Damn my short legs. He was in front of me now, blocking off my path. "I'd tell you where the wall is, but we have to go somewhere special first." He licked his lips. Oh gosh, he licked his lips. Somebody save me.

His strong hand gripped firmly around my wrist, forming a shackle that was impossible for my twig-arms to break out of. He was excited, walking faster than was possible for me so I ended up being half dragged to my certain death. Was he going to rape me first? Or would it just be a swift shot to the head? I wished now that I had been a more devout Christian. If I died right now, I would surely go to hell.

My flesh was tingling where his hand gripped me. Did he plan on killing me by cutting off my pulse? Was that possible? Damn, why didn't I pay attention to the documentaries about the trouble-teens that killed? I should have just avoided him in the first place, better to have no pride than no life.

His pace was starting to slow, and he looked back at me. He smiled. "Jeez, Roxas, you look as white as a sheet." He stopped in front of a door, allowing me to catch a glimpse of the sign beside it.

"Janitor's…closet…?" Would some unfortunate couple find my body hanging in the closet tomorrow? Or would it be an innocent janitor, trying to earn an honest living?

"Yeah, silly. We have to get sponges and soap."

I sigh of immense relief filled me. He raised an eyebrow at my white knuckles.

"What did you think I was going to do? Rape you?"

I blushed. Bull's-eye.

"N-n-no!"

A smile pulled at his lips.

"Hmm. For some strange reason I d-d-don't believe you," he mocked. "Don't relax too early, though. I never said I _wasn't_ going to rape you," he called out over his shoulder as he began digging through the closet. Glancing at me, he laughed. "Just kidding! You're too cute. I'd rather hug you like a teddy bear."

Ugh. Cute. Exactly what every guy in the world hated to be called. Except for the transvestites.

Axel emerged from the stuffed closet with a tub containing two big yellow sponges and a bottle of soap.

"Let's go."

He led while I followed behind him, seeing as how this was my first day at school while he had a whole year to familiarize himself with the seemingly endless hallways. He stopped again, but not at the mascot wall.

"Why are we at the bathroom?"

"The school asks us to dilute the soap with water so that they use less. It's a tight budget."

"No, I meant why are we at the _girls'_ bathroom?"

"Oh. Right. The boys' bathroom smells like someone poured sewage all over the floors while the septic tank's contents just exploded out of the toilets. The girls' bathroom smells like roses."

"And how would you know that?" I mumbled.

"What's that? You want a hug? Ok, you asked for it."

A clatter echoed down the hallway as Axel dropped the tub and caught me in a vice-like hug.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" the scream ripped from my throat. This was the time to put my plan in action. I shoved hard, so that he stumbled a few steps away from me.

"I'm so _sick_ of _you_ and your little gay antics! Just leave me alone! I'll move out of the way next time in the hallway, ok? Just let me have nothing else to do with you anymore," I screamed with as much realness as I could, hoping that he would buy my horrible fake-as-the-nose-on-Michael-Jackson acting.

Axel stared at me, eyes wide, breathing heavily. He looked down at his shoes. "Sheesh, Roxas, I was only trying to have a little fun…I didn't really mean to make you mad or anything." He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous habit. "Let me say something first. I just wanna say that I…I…I know you're faking it, you little weasel," he grinned. "Riku told me about his little slip of tongue."

Damn. Dammit all. I really hoped that he was going to believe me. Axel stooped over to pick up the tub and its contents, and in that sudden moment while his head was hanging lower than his waist, I was seized with the sudden urge to kick him straight smack on the center of his butt. I giggled furiously at the thought, and didn't stop until Axel finally asked me," Dude are you alright? You're laughing like a madman."

"It's nothing. You're just driving me crazy."

--

We arrived at the mascot wall, both of us guessing at how long we'd be there.

"I say 30 minutes," I announced.

"No way. You've obviously never cleaned the mascot wall before. I know from experience that it'll take us at least an hour."

I groaned. We both grabbed a bright yellow sponge, an oddly cheerful color for such a dull task, and began scrubbing at the wall as if our lives depended on it. After a few minutes, Axel called my name. I looked up, wondering what it could possibly be, and at the exact moment that I looked up, I was hit dead on in the face with a suds-soaked sponge. I wiped the lethally-filled-with-bacteria water from my eyes and grinned. Axel had definitely driven me crazy. Without a second's hesitation, I bent down to soak my sponge with water and while it was still full of water, I threw my sponge at him, hitting him back in his face while he was still laughing.

He was silent with surprise, his mouth hanging open, allowing a few drops of water to enter it, and then he reposed, and threw another lethal sponge at me. I laughed too.


	3. Used

Hi guys! I know, I know, it's been an insane amount of time since I updated, and you guys should get to chew me up for that, but guess what? You can't, because cannibalism is illegal. Pity, I know, but it's true, so you can't do anything about it other than giving me a bad review! Hahahaha. Crap. Probably shouldn't have said that. Oh well…Now that school's out, I'll probably be able to write a bit more, so you can expect a good two or three chapters before school starts again.

Axel belongs to Roxas and Roxas belongs to Axel. All characters credited to Squeenix

I sighed in relief as my tired body hit the soft cushions on top of the couch. It was finally Friday, the end of the first two trying weeks at school. After the first Monday, Axel stopped pestering me, and we hung out a bit sometimes. And Riku…was clinging onto me like a baby does to its mother…I'd have to find some way to get rid of him without completely destroying him. I opened my eyes and looked at the single photo on the mantel. My mother and father were smiling in a boat over a glistening lake.

_Hi, mom. How are you doing?_ I asked in my mind. I stood in front of the photo for a few moments, waiting for an answer like I always did. None came. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. RING RING RING. The phone's harsh rings pierced through my silent mourning period like a fire burning through a house. My hand slammed down on the phone and brought it to my face.

"Hey," I mumbled into the mouth piece.

"Hi Roxas, it's me, Kairi."

"What's up?"

"Well, I- I was-uhm- I was wonder- wondering whether or not you wanted to h-hang out with me this weekend." Her voice was wavering. Was she crying?

I raised an eyebrow even though she couldn't see it. "Sure, I can't see why not."

She brightened a bit and gave off a weak laugh. "Awesome. How about tomorrow at the ice cream shop at 1 o' clock?"

"Ehh ok?"

The line beeped and the 30 second phone call was over, but my thoughts weren't. Kairi was starting to show the telltale signs of a crushing girl. I really didn't need this right now. Ever since her little heart-break scene on Monday, Kairi had been literally stalking me. She managed to catch me in the halls between every single class, and it was starting to get really annoying, but I couldn't tell her to just leave me alone because when she wasn't smiling, I could still see the puffiness in her eyes, and so I had to endure the stalkeresque behavior. This was going to be a really sticky situation.

I got up and looked at the clock. It was only five, but I decided to start making dinner anyway, throwing eggs and rice into the pan hoping to pass it off as a "healthy" meal. If my health teacher had seen how much oil I was pouring onto the pan, he would have flipped out and made me drop down and give him twenty, or maybe he would have just given me a random zero while the rest of the class got a hundred.

I plopped down on a chair in the kitchen and began scanning today's headlines, but my body didn't want to let me read. My eyes blurred from tears gathering in my eyes as a result of my ceaseless yawns. School was going to be the end of me one day, if my friends weren't going to be first.

I was at the point in tiredness where you kind of fall asleep at dinner so that your face falls into the food that you're supposed to be eating, but instead you're just kind of staring at it, if not wishing to go to sleep. I couldn't fall asleep so easily, though, not if I were the most popular boy in the school.

My hands itched to throw the phone out of the window as it rang again, but against my wishes, I picked up the phone.

"Hey, Roxas. Wazzzuppppp?"

"Axel," I said out loud, groaning the name in my head. "Nothing much, really. Just eating dinner right now."

"Great. So, I was wondering if you wanted to come and hang out with me and Riku at the mall today."

"Tonight? It's kind of late…"

"Nonsense! It's never too late to go to the mall." I imagined him winking on the other side of the line. I shuddered. When Axel smiled, winked, or showed any signs of happiness, it usually meant that he had something planned for me.

"Maybe not tonight. I've got a lot of homework."

"Screw the homework. Besides, Riku wants to catch up with you."

I sighed, sending a shower of static through the phone. "Alright, alright."

--

Where were they? I had been standing outside of the mall, baking under the red glow of the sunset for the past fifteen minutes. Anymore of this and I might actually turn a bit tan. I checked my watch-again. Someone watching me would have sworn that I had some sort of wrist twitch or something, but who could blame me? I was kind of on edge today. It really sounded like Axel was going to do something bad to me, and I didn't want to get caught up in it.

I was just about to give up- _so_ close to going back home when I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist, while another pair of hands concentrated on getting me to breathe through a soaked cloth. Maybe if I had turned around, none of this would have ever happened, and I would be living a normal life.

I caught a flash of red just before the world turned dark…

--

I woke up, dizzy, lights swimming over me. I closed my eyes for a second, allowing my throbbing head to rest for a moment. I was so tired…didn't want to wake up. But I had to…another day of school to endure. I forced my eyes open, wincing as the light burned my eyes.

I closed my eyes again- close, open, close, open. Was I high? Because I sure didn't remember ordering a new furniture set complete with Axel in the bed. Axel…in bed…next to me…

I jumped out of bed making a sort of sound like a cross between a yelp, scream, and, well, whatever the hell kind of noise you make when you wake up in bed with a member of the same sex that's not part of your family.

The sudden movement awoke Axel. He smiled slowly, with a tired expression on his face.

"Roxas, I know you're eager for a bit more of what happened last night, but it's only morning now. Go put your clothes back on."

I looked down. Oh. My. God. I was stripped down to…never mind, but the point _was _that I didn't have all of the clothes on that I remembered having on. I stared, wide-eyed.

"What did you do to me?"

"What do you mean do to you?"

"What do you mean what do I mean?"

Axel considered his answer for a moment, and dawned a more alert, cheerful expression. "Relax. Riku and I just wanted to find a way of getting you to come over without having to kidnap you, but when we thought about it more, we realized that kidnapping _was_ the only way of getting you to come over, but then when we went with the kidnapping gag, we thought, 'heck, might as well go all the way to freak him out, so why don't we go and undress him half way and stick him in bed with me?' And so, we didn't necessarily _do_ anything to you in the context that you're thinking."

I breathed. In, out. In, out. There was absolutely no way that I would leave without popping a blood vessel or punching someone's guts out. Wait. Police. That would always be a problem. Perhaps…maybe…if I killed them, then there was a much lower chance of me being caught. Yes, that was the way to go.

Axel was watching me, waiting for my reaction, but when I looked up, something in my countenance tipped him off. "Hey, Roxas, it was all just a good joke. No harm done, right?" He chuckled nervously, hopping out of the bed and inching backwards as I moved towards him. He began to run, but the room was too small, and he soon reached the end, cut off from the door by me and out of room to run. I launched myself for the tackle.

This was evidently fun. Or, at least my brain told me so, because I found a laugh tearing from my mouth as I tickled Axel. He was very, _very_ ticklish.

"St-ahahah-st-stop-hahaa-ssstop it!"

I was sure by now that his stomach hurt crazily from laughing so hard, but I didn't care. It wasn't until I heard the clack of an opening door that I looked up from my full-on assault.

Riku stepped in, wearing only a towel, and tousling his wet hair. Once he finished yawning, he stopped for a moment to take in the scene before him and then raised an eyebrow. I blushed, realizing what it must have looked like to him. I was on top of Axel, who was pinned down under my knees, and my hands were on top of his chest, no longer poised in the tickling position. Oh yeah, I was also almost naked.

"Ugh. Isn't it a little early, you two? At least wait until after lunch, sheesh." Riku rolled his eyes.

"No! It's not what you think," I insisted, but I sounded like I was trying too hard to convince him. There was no way that he was going to believe what I said.

"Yeah, that's what I told him too, but, I quote, 'come on, the day's nice and fresh. Let's have some fun' and then he pushed me down to the floor and started undressing himself," Axel explained totally straight-faced. He was one damn good liar.

"Axel!" I hissed as an angry flush flooded my face which would look to anyone else like an embarrassed blush.

"It's alright, Roxas, Riku's totally cool about the gay thing," he winked. This time I blushed for real, though I couldn't figure out why. I shook my head, attempting to straighten out all of my thoughts. "Hey, uhmm, would you mind getting of now?"

I blinked. Oh. I was still pinning him down. I got off of him, but not before I caught a glimpse of my watch. 12:37, it read. Shit. I hoped that it meant 12:37 AM. "Just about how long was I out of it?"

"I'd say a good fourteen hours," Riku pitched. "Apparently you don't take well to chloroform."

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I was supposed to meet Kairi at the ice cream shop at one. I started going through Axel's closet and tried to find something that would fit me, despite his annoyed "hey!" as I started throwing clothes onto his bed. Yes! I knew that he would have a tight shirt somewhere. It would fit just right on me. I pulled on some of his cargo shorts complete with a belt (the shorts were too big) and took my shoes as I quickly told Axel that I would cut off his head if he so much as touched my clothes and then dashed out of his house. His really big, fancy house. No matter. I was late. No time to pay attention to his house.

I stepped out and tried to figure out where I was. Chakram and Keyblade. Good. I was at an intersection where buses ran to the side of town that I needed to be on. If they were on schedule-which I prayed to God that they were- I would make it to the shop just in time.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the bus pulled up to the stop on time, and I jumped on. Oops. I had no money. I started rifling through Axel's pockets and found a ten dollar bill. I smiled sheepishly as I handed the bill to the grumbling bus driver. There was no doubt that Axel had already been through all of the stuff in my pockets already.

It was a bit inconvenient being in Axel's clothes. The belt wasn't quite functioning properly, so I had a lot of trouble walking in the too-big pants, but I would have to make do with what I had. It was better than going in my clothes. If my hunch about Kairi's feelings were right, then she would know what I was wearing yesterday. I found myself wishing that girls didn't become so stalker-like when they had crushes.

I groaned inwardly, not wanting to get to the shop, but I had made a promise. I walked by the window, which was decorated with a frilly pink canopy, like all the other windows. But it wasn't the windows that had bothered me. Kairi was inside, looking really bad, probably the worst I've ever seen her. A small glint raced down her cheek as the tear reflected the sunlight. She must still be hurting a lot. I kicked myself for being such a jerk.

I picked the door that would have me facing her back, and I called her name a few seconds earlier than necessary so that she would have time to compose herself. She turned around quickly, so quickly that I wouldn't have been able to tell that she wiped away any tears at all. She flashed me one of her usual quirky smiles. Her nose was red, but I didn't mention it.

"Whoops. Am I late?" I asked even though I knew that I had two minutes to spare. She shook her head.

"No," she paused, laughed half-heartedly, and then explained, "I didn't have anything to do at home, so I thought that I would come early."

I nodded, understanding that feeling. "Then lets get us some ice cream." She nodded this time, grateful for something to think about.

"Two scoops of mint chocolate chip, please," I told the worker who was smacking his gum loudly. Odd. Pink hair…

"Would that be all for you, sirrr?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Uhh- no. She'll be having something as well," I said, indicating Kairi.

She chewed her lip. "I'll have a scoop of sea s- ehrm- never mind. A scoop of chocolate." I frowned. Sea salt ice cream was Sora's favorite. She couldn't even stand to eat the same ice cream as him anymore.

"Your total will be six fifty," the pink-haired person said to me, the same bored expression on his face. I paid him and grabbed the ice cream cones, handing Kairi hers.

Kairi and I made idle chit chat about what was going on in school, and she would often smile, but I could see that she wasn't really happy at all.

"So, what have you been doing lately?" I asked, once we had run out of school topics to talk about. She finished swallowing her bite of ice cream before she answered. Her voice was so quiet that I could barely hear.

"Well, after-" She looked down. "after Sora-" Her voice cracked. She was trying really hard, but it wasn't enough. It was almost painful watching her.

"Hey," I interrupted. "If you don't want to mention it yet, then don't force yourself. You still need time. It's alright."

She nodded, and smiled slightly, grateful for my understanding. "But I don't want to be the broken-hearted girl anymore." She laughed, weak, but real this time. "I thought that maybe if I talked about it more, I would heal faster and then I could get on with my life."

"It's only been a two weeks, though. Give it more time."

She looked up, eyes hollow and tired. Her voice was awkward, slow. "This has been the part of my life. I have grieved and mourned every single second of being awake. I've hardly eaten anything, and I've cried myself to sleep every single night." She stopped for a moment, picking out her next words. "I'm like a shell of what I used to be, Roxas. I don't want to be like this anymore. I've got to give a good fight, or I might get dragged under by whatever's possessed me."

I stared at her for a moment, torn. Sora and Kairi were both good friends. I wanted to hate Sora for doing this, but I couldn't; we had been friends for too long. I thought about how complicated this whole thing was, and I wished for a moment that we were still in grade school, where nothing like this ever happened, where girls and boys could just be friends. I missed those days.

I looked at Kairi for a second, sizing her up. When I decided finally that she was strong enough for this, I spoke again.

"Do you hate him now?"

She looked at me and smiled a bit, a hopeless look in her eyes. "I know that I should. I mean, every other girl in my situation would too, but I'm just like that. I'll be the woman later on in life who still loves her abusive husband because she's easy to use." She laughed for a moment at her comparison (though I didn't, because it was a rather horrifying one). "And besides, we grew up with Sora. I couldn't hate him. Would you? If you were a girl, and you liked your childhood friend more than any other person you'd met before, and he went and cheated on you. Would you hate him? I couldn't."

"Yeah, I wouldn't either. I guess that would make us two easily-manipulated girls, then, right?" I grinned, trying to lighten the conversation.

She cringed for a second and then smiled. "Yeah. I guess we are."

We both laughed, and continued to eat our ice cream as the sun broke through the clouds. I could tell, she would be alright.

Sorry for the blunt ending DX I was experiencing a bit of a writer's block, but I tried to smooth it out as best as I could. Also, if there's a bit of inconsistency in the story line, you must understand that this chapter has been written over a period of a few months in the few extra minutes that I have every day.

I bet that many of you are now thinking, "WHAT? I thought that this was supposed to be an akuroku fic! Why am I reading this RoxasXKairi crap?" yes, yes, I know. The plot is still in development. The nice stuff comes later 3 please review! Feel free to ask questions.


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